Chapter 5 (also known as Chp. 5) - Another Newcomer
Well, now that you're all comfortable with the story (especially (or esp.) with that rockin'
Jefferson Airplane). It seems like a nice, warm, fuzzy kind of story, but without the hair. Well, you were wondering at what
point in the story is The Dancing Rhubarb gonna get in some heroic battle, weren't ya? Well, if you haven't guessed already,
which is pretty pathetic, as I've been dropping clues to you this entire chapter so far about it, this is that long awaited
point. Let's hope the stalling eased your nerves.
As TDR (MAN I love abbv.!!!) walked to the grocery store to get some bagels (obviously not for
him, but for TMC (still not the channel, and never will be). We already had a talk about this photosynthesis thing. I'll try
to not have big words like that pop up out of nowhere from now on), a shadowy ornamentation approached him (sorry).
TDR got a little scared, but calmed down when he saw the shadow was square. Yes, he's back, The Walking Coke Machine (TWCM)!
"Put in a quarter and you get a Coke!"
-silence-(after all rhubarbs don't have mouths. Then again, they don't have eyes or legs, but
don't question my imagination. I'm on a roll. I am butter. Butter. Butter. Hey, stalling again!)
"Put in a quarter and you get a Coke!"
-silence-
After a while of this, The Walking Coke Machine got tired of his customer refusing to but, and
refusing to speak, so he walked away.
The Dancing Rhubarb finally decided to go into the store, which he did. Just as he entered,
another shadow appeared on the sidewalk. And this shadow was not square.....
Meanwhile, in the store, TDR was having some trouble asking the cashier where the bagels are,
mainly because of that whole no-mouth thing.
-silence-
-stare- (the cashier, in case you need reminding. No wonder you couldn't get the hint of the
epic battle at the beginning of the chapter.)
-silence-
"Um, sir or ma'am, what is it exactly that you want?"
At this statement, The Dancing Rhubarb pointed one of his stalks at the bagel section. Realizing
he didn't even need to talk to the cashier in the first place, he walked away, got a box of bagels, and dropped a five dollar
bill on the cashier's conveyor belt. Only after the alarm system went off did The Dancing Rhubarb realize the cashier had
to scan the food before he could take it.
After the scanning (I'm making it sound like some medical operation), TDR stepped out of the
store. All of a sudden, the shadow stepped forward. TDR glanced at the shadow. The shadow glanced back (huh?). Then the shadow
stepped out of....the.....shadows. TDR was so surprised he dropped his bagels.
It was a robot.
Now, this is the part where you go "HUH???? A ROBOT??? That is so lame!!!!" Well, this will
be explained later. I'd love to stall again, but I feel that this fact would be better explained in the end. Don't worry your
head!.
Now, this is the part where I describe things to you, mainly the robot. The robot is blue. It
has two red lightbulbs for eyes, and an antenna coming out of it's square head (hey, I said the shadow wasn't square, not
just the head). The head is attached to a square body, with what look like miniature vacuum tubes coming out of it's sides.
These have toy grabbers attached to the ends of them. That is attached to a thin blue rectangle, which is attached to a long
verticalwise rectangle (blue of course), with wheels on the bottom of it. Basically (or you could even say abbv.!!), one of
the lamest robots the human mind could conceive.
Well, the robot wasn't going to just sit around, no sir! (or ma'am) This robot moved forward!!!
After it moved forward, it extended it's arms, and hit TDR!!!
Well, TDR isn't going to take this, oh no!!!!! Using one of his many stalks of greenness, he
lashed out with incredible green!!!! Grabbing the robot by the arm/vacuum tube, slammed the robot repeatedly in front and
behind him (in a MKII Jax kinda way). Using impossible strength for a leaf, TDR, whipped the robot high into the air.
Meanwhile, that crowd from Chapter (Chp.) 2 was watching.
"Oh wow!!!!!!!!!" shouted Mrs. Greggins (instead of the other, less appropriate comment).
"Oh gosh!!!!!!!!!!!" exclaimed Mr. Hunters (following the same rule).
"You know, that rhubarb is no ordinary dietary supplement," said the Mayor.
"Wait, Mr. Mayor," replied Mr. Hunters. "You weren't in the crowd in Chapter (Chp.) 2!"
"I know, but the town has to have a mayor, so the author simply created me and put me in the
crowd."
The Scotsman got confused. "Mr. Mayor, if you were just created by the author, who's been running
the city the whole time?"
No one, not even the author, seemed to have an answer to that question.
"Look!!" shouted Mr. Hunters.
Everyone looked. After being yelled at to look the other way by Mr. Hunters, the crowd finally
saw the robot crash into the pavement, exploding into 16 pieces.
The crowd, as usual, stood there, unable to speak. Actually, they were able to speak, but they
were so surprised they didn't say anything. Just informing the few people out there wondering what I was talking about (the
same people that didn't catch on to the hint at the beginning of the chapter.).
All of a sudden, the crowd exploded (not literally, though I have taken many things in this
story literally) into cheers. Of course, being the crowd, no one had any idea why they were cheering, but they knew every
hero has to have some kind of civilian appreciation after a battle. Even one as miniscule and lame as this one.
And now, we break off the storyline here, and continue with a chapter (chp.) transition!
